(no subject)

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This is where I mention garudina by name, because it indulges their vanity, and it amuses me to do so.

Already we have made the decision to cut our Die Meistersinger von Nurnberg performances to three times a week.  My cursory glance of the attendees shows many returning for repeat performances, but we have yet to fill the house again.  I have been bowing out of many performances myself, only to suddenly and arbitrarily step in to a minor role.  I ignore any umbrage of the performers -- there are no small parts, only small actors.  Also, such caprice will bolster my reputation as a primadonna, which has been eclipsed by my reputation as a recluse.

I cannot help but notice the company that I keep as of late is especially catty.  I may be enjoying myself too much.  Do their thick skins cover vulnerable softness? For the nonce, it does not matter.  I find their counsel more sophisticated than among the ingenues. Their eyes may be focussed upon the flaws of others, but at least they gaze upon something other than their navels.  When the novelty is gone, ask me again what I believe.

And again, I have made changes in my appearance. (I cannot help but wonder I am foolishly consistent in my fear of a foolish consistency. Others change with fashion so quickly!)  Often I tell myself the subtle changes are there only to amuse myself, but my heart often wishes to be in the center spotlight.  I am curious, however, if the boorish manners and distasteful countenances of those who seek my company actually win the hearts of anyone at all.  And if they do, then I am definitely of heaven and not of this earth.