wate
Jul. 14th, 2025 04:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
doctorwednesdayI said I was going to discuss my weight loss.
I had taken it as given that if I took feminizing hormones, I was simply going to put on weight and that's all there was to it. And if it made me look more feminine, then I was all right with that. Even enthusiastic; I could be a chunky goth girl, sure. Then a couple of years after starting hormones, I was at my in-laws' apartment and used their bathroom scale, and was shocked to discover I weighed 195 pounds. Some of you will think so what, big deal, but in college I weighed in the low 130s, and for the previous couple of decades my weight had hovered in the 140-155 range. Historically I've been a skinny little shit. So to learn I was now pushing 200 pounds was pretty startling. I knew I'd put on a lot of weight since starting hormones, but until that moment I couldn't quantify it. And over that time I'd become aware that I didn't really feel feminine at all, I just felt fat. I went on like that for a while, not liking how overweight I was but accepting it as an inevitable side effect of hormone therapy.
So what happened? It was a combination of looking at my awful, dumpy ass in the bathroom mirror one too many times, and seeing a youtube video in which a lady lost a considerable amount of weight by changing her diet (but not dieting) and doing regular exercises. And I just kind of lost it. I threw out all the snacks in the apartment, poured out the soda, and told myself I was done with that. So too was I done with taking my share of whatever horrible fast food my partner ordered. I was actually furious that I'd been this destructively self-indulgent.
I stopped eating so many snacks and sweets. I kept dessert after my main meal, but it was usually a small amount of chocolate (which is good for our purposes, because a) it's easily portioned and b) it sits in the stomach for a while). I drank coffee with sugar and milk instead of soda. I cut unnecessary carbs out of my diet; instead of having curry over rice, for example, I had it over vegetables. I tried to make my meals meat- and vegetable-heavy; after a while I actually learned how to cook, because I wanted more control over what I ate, and it turned out I was reasonably good at it. I'd make a huge pot of stew or curry or something, portion it out and freeze it. I didn't starve myself, this wasn't an outright diet; if I was hungry between meals, I had nuts and dried fruit and I'd eat a little of that. As long as I wasn't eating all the trash I'd been consuming previously.
I also exercised, but again I wasn't knocking myself out. I'd go biking a couple of miles every couple of days, or spend some time on the elliptical machine, on top of occasional errands I did on foot or by bike. There's debate regarding the role that exercise plays in weight loss, but I've found that it helps me, and doing something athletic once in a while is going to help keep your body together overall. I also did some light weightlifting, just for amusement value rather than weight loss purposes.
The most dramatic weight loss happened at the beginning, before tapering off to something more gradual. I didn't weigh myself-- I measured my waist, abdomen, hips and bust with a measuring tape on a weekly basis --but I'm putting it into terms of weight since that's easier to discuss. I started this regimen at the end of July of last year, and between then and April of this year, I lost an average of approximately one pound a week. The last time I actually checked my weight (sometime in March or April) I'd gone from ~195 to ~160 pounds. Between April and June my measurements have barely changed, leading me to believe that my weight has stabilized and that this is where I'll stay naturally unless I outright diet (which I have no interest in doing). In the last couple of weeks my measurements have dropped a little more, which I suspect is due to having done a lot more biking now that it's summer. By my standards of years ago, I would still be considered overweight, but I think I've lost most of what I can realistically lose without abusing my body, and I'm very happy with how I look now. I hadn't realized just how unhappy I was being overweight until I started losing it.
Do I have any advice? I don't know. It helps if you reach a point where you're pissed off about where you've let things go, and are ready to overthrow your routine and remake it. In my mind it was a matter of having gotten into bad habits; it wasn't that I enjoyed eating all that garbage, it was that it was part of my routine to do so, it was part of my expectation for how each day would go; and when I made myself stop and do something else, after a few days I didn't want it and I didn't miss it, and when I started getting results I felt vindicated in having changed my routine.
Another thing I would mention is that any one measurement of your weight or your waist doesn't mean much; it's the overall trends that matter. You shouldn't think much of it if your weight ticks up a little, as long as the overall trend is downward. I wrote down every measurement, and after a while I plotted the data to a graph so I could see how far I'd come. Don't get wound up over being up a pound today; by next week you'll probably have lost it again.
I had taken it as given that if I took feminizing hormones, I was simply going to put on weight and that's all there was to it. And if it made me look more feminine, then I was all right with that. Even enthusiastic; I could be a chunky goth girl, sure. Then a couple of years after starting hormones, I was at my in-laws' apartment and used their bathroom scale, and was shocked to discover I weighed 195 pounds. Some of you will think so what, big deal, but in college I weighed in the low 130s, and for the previous couple of decades my weight had hovered in the 140-155 range. Historically I've been a skinny little shit. So to learn I was now pushing 200 pounds was pretty startling. I knew I'd put on a lot of weight since starting hormones, but until that moment I couldn't quantify it. And over that time I'd become aware that I didn't really feel feminine at all, I just felt fat. I went on like that for a while, not liking how overweight I was but accepting it as an inevitable side effect of hormone therapy.
So what happened? It was a combination of looking at my awful, dumpy ass in the bathroom mirror one too many times, and seeing a youtube video in which a lady lost a considerable amount of weight by changing her diet (but not dieting) and doing regular exercises. And I just kind of lost it. I threw out all the snacks in the apartment, poured out the soda, and told myself I was done with that. So too was I done with taking my share of whatever horrible fast food my partner ordered. I was actually furious that I'd been this destructively self-indulgent.
I stopped eating so many snacks and sweets. I kept dessert after my main meal, but it was usually a small amount of chocolate (which is good for our purposes, because a) it's easily portioned and b) it sits in the stomach for a while). I drank coffee with sugar and milk instead of soda. I cut unnecessary carbs out of my diet; instead of having curry over rice, for example, I had it over vegetables. I tried to make my meals meat- and vegetable-heavy; after a while I actually learned how to cook, because I wanted more control over what I ate, and it turned out I was reasonably good at it. I'd make a huge pot of stew or curry or something, portion it out and freeze it. I didn't starve myself, this wasn't an outright diet; if I was hungry between meals, I had nuts and dried fruit and I'd eat a little of that. As long as I wasn't eating all the trash I'd been consuming previously.
I also exercised, but again I wasn't knocking myself out. I'd go biking a couple of miles every couple of days, or spend some time on the elliptical machine, on top of occasional errands I did on foot or by bike. There's debate regarding the role that exercise plays in weight loss, but I've found that it helps me, and doing something athletic once in a while is going to help keep your body together overall. I also did some light weightlifting, just for amusement value rather than weight loss purposes.
The most dramatic weight loss happened at the beginning, before tapering off to something more gradual. I didn't weigh myself-- I measured my waist, abdomen, hips and bust with a measuring tape on a weekly basis --but I'm putting it into terms of weight since that's easier to discuss. I started this regimen at the end of July of last year, and between then and April of this year, I lost an average of approximately one pound a week. The last time I actually checked my weight (sometime in March or April) I'd gone from ~195 to ~160 pounds. Between April and June my measurements have barely changed, leading me to believe that my weight has stabilized and that this is where I'll stay naturally unless I outright diet (which I have no interest in doing). In the last couple of weeks my measurements have dropped a little more, which I suspect is due to having done a lot more biking now that it's summer. By my standards of years ago, I would still be considered overweight, but I think I've lost most of what I can realistically lose without abusing my body, and I'm very happy with how I look now. I hadn't realized just how unhappy I was being overweight until I started losing it.
Do I have any advice? I don't know. It helps if you reach a point where you're pissed off about where you've let things go, and are ready to overthrow your routine and remake it. In my mind it was a matter of having gotten into bad habits; it wasn't that I enjoyed eating all that garbage, it was that it was part of my routine to do so, it was part of my expectation for how each day would go; and when I made myself stop and do something else, after a few days I didn't want it and I didn't miss it, and when I started getting results I felt vindicated in having changed my routine.
Another thing I would mention is that any one measurement of your weight or your waist doesn't mean much; it's the overall trends that matter. You shouldn't think much of it if your weight ticks up a little, as long as the overall trend is downward. I wrote down every measurement, and after a while I plotted the data to a graph so I could see how far I'd come. Don't get wound up over being up a pound today; by next week you'll probably have lost it again.
